Posted in Fail

A Break From Being Her Hero

Overheard from the bathroom:

I’m doing a wee, dada

Are you?

Yeah. Sssssshhhhh

Don’t just make a wee-like noise, R. Do a wee!“, I yelled from the bedroom.

Is she coming?

Who?

Mama! Is she coming here?

Dada grabs the opportunity when he sees one. “Yeah, if you don’t wee, she will come here.

Five minutes later, when she came out of the bathroom to dump her clothes in the laundry hamper, she saw me and said,

Mama, I tried.

Huh?“, I was far away in my thoughts.

I tried to do a wee.

She was going to bed without peeing. She wanted me to know that she had tried and it wasn’t her fault.

After a day of parenting fails, I did not particularly care to be the bad parent. It was enough. Normally, I would know that I am her hero and she is trying to impress me but today was not one of those days. Today was one of THOSE days!

She moved up a level in swimming today. No doubt I’m proud of her but, for the second time out of three, she has received her certificate on the day I wasn’t with her. I was expecting her to move up but not for another week at least. It had to happen today, when I had a late start and decided to stay home. Not the best way to begin my day. Parenting Fail #1.

WhatsApp Image 2016-08-14 at 12.19.04 PM

I used the spare time in the morning editing and collating pictures from her weekend visit to the Ekka, for her Show-and-Tell at daycare. Unsurprisingly and unexpectedly, the activity spilled into the afternoon and R got zero attention from me during the time. She had not missed that either. It was obvious when she woke up from her afternoon nap and would not let me have the last five minutes I needed to copy the images onto a drive to take to the store for printing. I figured it would be worth it in the end except… the lady at the store handed me the receipt with a ‘PAID’ stamp on it and asked me to come back tomorrow since it would take an hour, which was past their closing time. Parenting Fail #2.

I promised her that if she took a short nap, I would take her to the park in the evening. By then, I had already promised on behalf of her dad that she would be going to the park where we had her last birthday party, after swimming, and reneged (in my defense, it was lunchtime). I was determined that we would go to the park in the evening. Two hours into the nap, I knew I had to wake her up but I held out, frantically finishing up the photobook for Show-and-Tell. When we finally left the house and arrived at the park, it was too crowded. We would end up waiting for a turn at the swing all evening and I still had to take the pictures to the store for printing, so we made a last minute decision to go to the Shopping Centre instead. I knew fully well there was no coming back to the park after that but I let her believe it might be possible. I think she knew it would be dark by then too. Parenting Fail #3.

I resolved to let her have a go, or two, on the rides at the Shopping Centre. So, while daddy dearest stood in line at the grocery store, I took her to the Peppa Pig ride (which was now Wiggles). I had coins. She asked. I inserted my coins in the machine. It spat it out. Another little girl and her mum were with me, trying to get the damned thing to work. It refused to accept our coins. It was turned off. Of all the time I’ve been to the Shopping Centre, I’ve never seen one of those rides turned off. Today, it was. At least 20 minutes before closing time too. Parenting Fail #4.

WhatsApp Image 2016-08-14 at 11.52.31 PM
She made her special coffee this morning and brought it to me in bed

I apologised profusely for the park fiasco and all R said was,

It was dada’s fault, mama. It was not your fault. He took a long time at the grocer’s and made us late.

For the second time today, while I was trying to find ways to feel less guilty about my parenting fiascoes, she trumped me with her generosity. Earlier in the day, while I was yelling at her for not doing something right, she interrupted me.

Mama…

I am not finished speaking, R. Please listen to what I’m saying

Mama, I love you. I just wanted to say that!

Umm… okay. There was no way I could continue my rant after that.

By bedtime, I was tired of the epic fails and tired of the guilt tying me down. She called out her goodnight from the room. Unlike other days, I just called back from the living room. No hugs, no kisses. Parenting Fail #5.

On the bright side, the day is over. Almost. We did manage to do a playdough activity together. She decorated her Little Pony while I fed her dinner. Still, I’m glad the day is over. Bring on Monday morning!

WhatsApp Image 2016-08-14 at 11.51.00 PM

 

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Author:

I used to wonder whether I could ever be a parent. Then I became one. I was handed a delicate little bundle that I was terrified of bringing home. I didn't know how to be a parent and I was sure 'winging it' was not the right way to do it. Little did I know at the time that there is no right way. The baby knew what she wanted and all I had to do was figure it out along the way. As she grows up, she helps me learn what I need to know... I just need to pay attention to her.

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