Posted in Celebration, Parenting

Vobyu, Dada


All she does is cry. What can I do with her?

When he said that to me about our baby girl, the daughter he’d always wished for, I couldn’t believe my ears! It broke my heart. This was the man who wanted 3 children. Who really wanted children when I didn’t know if I wanted it.

A few weeks after she was born, he said those words. I didn’t know how to react or whether I should even react to it.

Over time, he started to enjoy her. She played with him when they were at home but when we went out, she refused to go to him. She would be terrified when he wore a hat or pulled the hoodie of his jacket over his head. She loved him but was also wary of him.

Weeks later, she started to show signs of adoring him. She would begin her day by hugging him. “Dada!“, she said first thing in the morning. “Dada, night night. Vobyu (love you) dada“, would be her last words before she drifted off to sleep.

In the first year of her life, every day brought something new. It was fascinating to watch her figure out basic things like how to use her arm or grasp something in her palms. All the while, the one person she trusted wholeheartedly was mummy. In the second year, her personality began to start showing but it would change every week. We would just begin to assume she liked something or someone and she would not go anywhere near it the next. She had warmed up to daddy but there was still an attachment to mummy that held stronger than any other. By the end of that year, she was all grown up.


She turned three and suddenly, there she is, a full blown ‘threenager’. She seems to be figuring herself out and judging us all the time. She tells us how to do things and what not to do. She knows who is family and who are outsiders. She knows immediate family and extended family. She understands mummy’s and daddy’s roles now. She even knows how to play one against the other. Lucky for us, we stand united. For now.

This morning, as I tried to get her to take a sip of warm water to ease her sore throat, she said to me, “Mumma, can you go to the office? I don’t want you. I want daddy to be here taking care of me”.

Why?“, I asked. Her reply, “Because he doesn’t make me do things like this“.



I used to wonder whether I could ever be a parent. Then I became one. I was handed a delicate little bundle that I was terrified of bringing home. I didn't know how to be a parent and I was sure 'winging it' was not the right way to do it. Little did I know at the time that there is no right way. The baby knew what she wanted and all I had to do was figure it out along the way. As she grows up, she helps me learn what I need to know... I just need to pay attention to her.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s